dust off your rally hats

It's a big weekend for baseball:

This is from the Red Sox website:

Should the Red Sox, Yankees and Indians all finish with identical records -- certainly conceivable at this point -- Boston and New York would settle the AL East on Monday at Yankee Stadium. The loser of that game would play the Indians on Tuesday. Should the Red Sox and Yankees finish in a tie and the Indians drop out of the picture, New York would win the division (based on having a better head-to-head record) and Boston would be in the postseason as the Wild Card team. If the Yankees win the division and the Red Sox and Indians tie for the Wild Card, the Sox would host the Indians in a winner-take-all game on Monday.

I think that's what I said

Every time I glance at the title of the post below, I think it says, "saltines and justice."

saltines and juice

plain old saltines and juice...

I have a cold, so I brought soup, crackers, and emergen-c for lunch. I couldn't wait until lunch to start eating and drinking, so I found myself munching on crackers and drinking my raspberry vitamin c juice.

Saltines and juice....

I really do hope my plans are better than my snacks.

good morning class

Happy first day back at school Bobby! And all you others starting today, too, of course.

I'm nervously working on my application to Concordia, worried that my financial situation in January will keep me from starting then. I want to be in school, studying to be a teacher SO BAD. If I a have to wait, I will... but.... I want it now. The sooner I get into school, the sooner I finish and either have babies or a classroom of my own.

but it's okay

Wow. We're broke. We can afford the essentials, but don't ask me to go out with you unless you're buying. How weird. I've never been this broke before. Meh.

Parks & Recreation. Rock, rock on!

Saturday, the 24th of September, you have the opportunity to rock, rock on with P & R.

They'll probably be playing some of their fabulous new songs. Listen for the super model song. It's great fun.

Sept. 24th

9 ish.

At the Acme, SE 8th and Main.

Drink recommendation - your booze of choice and ginger ale. They make it themselves and it's delicious.

Buy all our playsets and toys!

looking up

Another great night at the Imago week of prayer, another great dinner and evening with my husband, and a glimmer of hope for the work situation. With Human Resources AND the Integrity Office involved now, we may be able to get out of this one alive.

I got a bunch of pictures of myself when I was a kid - mostly elementary and 6th grad pictures. A little too old to be disgustingly cute, but good enough, I suppose.

I have quite the headache right now. I suppose I should drink less coffee.

a new one

I was just called "Olita" on the phone. I hadn't heard that one before.

I've been missing....

How is it that I had forgotten this? This relationship, this hope, this excitement, this love... Bob and I spent an evening at Imago's week of prayer last night. It was great. I can't express it all here, but really, it's great.

sigh

boy do I ever feel useless today. What brought this on? I feel like I have no noticeble or worthwhile skills or talents. What an icky feeling.

I am trying to keep in mind that is the emotional abuse and blackmail that we all get from our boss here that is making me feel like this, but it's not helping.

I shovel well

That's not entirely true, I don't have the upper body strength or practice to shovel well. But at least I am stubborn/dedicated (I'm not sure which). I spent two hours on Saturday shoveling compost from a giant pile (it was at least ten feet tall. at the very least. It had been there for 15 years) into various wheelbarrows. Someone would then take the wheelbarrow away, empty it's contents in a needy area of St. Francis park, and bring it back to be filled up again. I started at noon, it was two before I realized I had not yet stopped shovelling aside from the occassional couple minutes waiting for a new wheelbarrow. After my arm started giving out before I got the shovel to the barrow, I quit that task and started raking. Today, my back muscles, shoulders, and arms ache. If I try to lift my left arm up to horizontal level, it starts shaking until I put it down. Ouch.

But well worth it. I don't know how many people were there. 20? 50? I'm not good at estimating. But it was a lot. We had more people than jobs at some points in the afternoon. It was encouraging to see so many people digging, planting, painting, sanding, staining, building, and talking. Some of the homeless who live in St. Francis helped the folks from Imago with the work, others passed by on foot or bike and thanked the group, we all worked together with smiles. I had a lot of fun. It was amazing to see this dark, dirty park get cleaned and fixed up. I am honored that me, with no particular artistic, gardening, landscaping, or shoveling skills, still got to be part of such a beautiful event.

I'm excited to go see the finished product this week. Maybe I'll stop by tomorrow.

movies!

My amazing husband found a set of 12 Studio Ghibli movies on Ebay and ordered them for us.

Unbearably cute and strange animated creatures, anyone?

no thank you

I don't particularly want to be here today. To be awake today, to do anything today. I'm not unhappy, but that same slow, tiresome, lazy, hopeless feeling is back again. I suppose this means a fight again, and I do have a husband now to help, and I have hope that it will pass. But I tell you, I really don't want to. I don't care about getting better, but I'll work towards it anyway because that's life. That's what you have to do.

And I guess I do care a little. I have little glimmers of hope and strength. Like remembering that day when I lived in the Turners basement, and I called Gary because I was so excited to let someone know that, for the first time in a very very long time, I woke up in the morning and I was actually happy about it.

title?

I feel sick. Woozy. Nauseas. But I have a lot to do for tomorrow, and I am getting picked up by my crazy boss at 6:30 am and will be workign until about 5. I have to go out to this donor's house and help run the AV part of this faculty love fest. I am a little upset that I have to go.

In happier news, I saw My Neighbor Totoro last night. It was wicked cute. I liked it a lot. I love these studio ghibli movies. If every anyone feels the need to present with a thoughtful gift, one of these movies would be just the thing.

In the happiest news, I love my husband, and he loves me, and being married is fantastic.

conflicted

I had a great weekend hanging out with Bobby at shows, being introduced repeatedly as his wife, getting back into the swing of Kid's Community at Imago, making new little friends, getting hugs from all the returning little friends, spending a lazy afternoon and evening eating leftovers and watching the cutest french school documentary ever made.... I woke up groggy but rested enough, had some coffee and a granola bar at work, everything was going fine. And then I got a couple emails, the silent treatment from the mafia, a last minute addition to the staff meeting that has to do with me and something I supposedly screwed up... all three of us are scared to go to this stupid meeting, I need to get work done, but I don't want to because I can't stand this place anymore.... I feel happy, content, worried, angry, tired, jittery... I wish I could quit.

really tired. really.

I am so very tired. I am very glad that we were able to have friends over on Wednesday and we get to go to shows all weekend, but boy am I ever tired. Even if I hadn't been bored with Colin Meloy last night I may still have fallen asleep on that bench.

Today I've had moments of delerium, not quite registering what people say to me, thinking I say something and then realizing I either said something completely different, or more often, I didn't say anyting at all. But I just might be able to get a nap in while the band is practicing, after we have dinner, and before we head out to more shows. And I can sleep in for as long as I please tomorrow morning, so I won't be worrying about that. I can't remember who we're going to see tonight, but it should be fun.

I hope it will be fun, anyway. I'm just worried about being too tired to enjoy. I try, I really do try, but sometimes my body just won't let me. Most people can keep going long past what they should be for optimal health, but as much as I've tried, I can't. I start fainting frequently, I get sick often, I get depressed. It's ugly. And as soon as I cut back on what I am doing and how long I keep going every day, I am okay again. It's frustrating. I feel like I am lazy or that I give up too soon. But I'm learning that my body will shut it's self down on me if I try and keep it going too long. It's not... a huge hardship, it's not as limiting as a disability would be, but it is still limiting. Thankfully I have a husband that, even though he loves to keep going and going and going, understands and loves to take care of me.

a phone conversation

Me: Center For Ethics, this is Lalita

Caller: And I understand that I can get the POLST form from you guys, too? Or, where can I get those?

Me, internally: (did I just miss part of a conversation with this woman?)

Me: You can order those from us.

Caller: Oh good. Well, I don’t need the POLST form, a few of our residents want braclets.

Me, internally: (then why....?)

Me: We don’t..... have braclets.... here.

Caller: You know, those plastic DNR braclets?

Me: Oh, no, we don’t have DNR braclets available (no where in Oregon does, this state doesn’t allow those) what we have are wallet sized cards that summarize the full size POLST form.

Caller: Okay, well I want those.

Me: Sure, hold on just a moment.

Me: Okay, how many of these will you need?

Caller: I need... well, are they a charge?

Me: ...... yes, they’re 50 cents each.

Caller: Oh, well I’ll have to a put a work order in for the money. Where does it, um, go to? And all that?

Me: I can fax you an order form, would that help?

Caller: Oh! Yeah! That'd be a great help! The fax is xxx-xxx-xxxx.

Me: Okay, thanks. And should I send this to your attention?

Caller: It’s Candy, just like the candy bar.

Me, internally: (oh, well that explains it)

get yourself hitched!

I love being married. I love having my sweet husband there for me, to spend time with, to have dinner parties with, to dance with, and snuggle with. I enjoy house and our stuff. I adore my step-daughters, even from a distance. I love being Team Ham. And while I did have all that before we were married, it's different now. It's better, stronger, safer, sweeter... I can't explain it, but I love it. I think I understand that urge new brides have to play matchmaker and marry off all of her friends. Being married to Bob is fantastic.

Picture Time

We promised you honeymoon photos, and now we have them. I'll post some of our favorites for your enjoyment. And don't forget to check out all of our wedding pictures here.

Bob's brother, Bill



My brother, Roddy



Food at the Chinatown Night Market. I'm glad they were just hot dogs.



More from the night market - cute star pillows!



Adorable turtle at the aquarium



The Lion's Gate Bridge, from Stanley Park.

The Vancouver Candians AA Baseball team. Looks like a little league field and felt like it was in a small town. It was a great game, and loads of fun.



The Lynn Canyon Suspension bridge! I ran across it for a bit to get this picture and scared my poor husband.



You can't tell in this picture, but that bruise is also raised. It was a tender lump for days. Stupid car door.



And this was when Alex's body was briefly inhabited by aliens.

They're here!

Not only do I have my wedding pictures in hand, they're online now! A few extras that aren't in the book, for those who have seen the photos, and a whole lot of fun for those who haven't. You can order them too, so you can keep the joy of our day close to you always.

Katie did an incredible job, everyone says so, and I agree. Go look, go look!

Our Wedding Pictures

come back weekend

3 days, 3 movies, 3 friends, 1 amazing husband, 40+ fun kids, 1 fun and relaxing labor day weekend.

Now here I am back at work with my lunatic of a boss, a wedding celebration that was nothing but uncomfortable, except the cake, that was good.

So.... did anyone know that adult penguins sound like elephants?

some messages

Bri: I finally got to see you again! Thanks for coming over and bringing your fiancee. Hooray for getting married. I know I'm far from you, physically, but let me know if I can help.

Michael, Millicent, and Alyssa: Thanks for coming over! It's fantastic to have good friends that I can feel comfortable and be goofy around.

Cherise: Get back here! I miss you.

All my friends who like Cranium: we have the game but have never played. Come to my house, all of you because it's more fun with more people, and let's play.

Bryce and Janaki: Totally Beavers game tonight. Come over tomorrow after church (I'm teaching, but go to the 11am with Bob) and see our wedding pictures.

I think I named the wrong pet Killer

Last night Dasha caught a flying ant, drug it around the house, and eventually ate it. This morning, she lept off the floor to swat a moth off the ceiling by our skylight upstairs. The dweeb couldn't find it after that, so I took her paw and touched it to the moth lying on the carpet. It moved, I jumped, and Dasha was back on the chase. She would cover it with her paw, let it up, catch it again... I'm not sure if she ever ate that one. Hopefully there is not a dead moth on my carpet.

come back...

So... I really miss the girls. Really. I keep getting this lonely/homesick feeling and I just want them to be here. I feel a little bad about it, as if I don't have a right to miss them as much as I do. But I do. A whole lot.

Some pictures!

Sometimes, I call her Awex, de Walex.




She's so pretty!




Zarah dah-ling...




Sister and Dad




He makes me feel short.