Last weekend and this week have been largely disappointing. There have been good things of course, but it's just been... not quite what I wanted or expected. I feel like what it took to get through the week was not worth what the week had to offer. Now we're headed into another stretch of being busy - Bob and I are heading to his parents' house tonight and the girls will be back with us next week, which is all fine, but I already feel sad and worn out, and the idea of not having time to rest and connect is not an appealing one. That's what this week was supposed to be, but it just didn't work out that way. I'm also disappointed because I've given up on trying to sell my lappy to get money for a new couch. Dealing with the people from craigslist turned out to be far too stressful and terrifying than it was worth. I'd rather have an uncomfortable and now cat shredded couch than deal with that again. Aside from that, though, I am not disappointed so much about what has or has not taken place, but... I don't know how to explain it... how I've felt, I suppose, how I've not been able to feel relaxed or connected to anyone. It's not the same as being depressed, thankfully I haven't had to deal with that for several months now. Cherise put it best - I've just been so withdrawn, and I can't find a way back out.
Oh well, I just have to keep hoping that I can be the person that I was and like again after this baby is born.
