After we finally got the smoke alarm to turn off, I made Bob go upstairs to get the parchment paper that would let the cookies bake properly. I was so mortified by mistake, I wouldn't go up there all night. It took awhile to even eat one of the non-smoked cookies.
I won't order some types of of food or use words I've only read because I'm terrified of pronouncing something wrong. I don't try to play baseball with Simon lest someone see how terrible I am.
Simon makes a few snips with scissors, then tosses them across the room because he needs help getting them on his hand again. He knocks over a game piece because he didn't understand who's turn it was. He won't try to write his name anymore, because he can't get his letters to look right.
He seems to be so upset by making mistakes that he screams, hits, or throws when we congratulate him for doing something well, as if it's a reminder that usually he fails.
The theory is that people with SPD struggle with accepting mistakes in part because we are so used to having things be difficult. We have a baseline of frustration, failure, and embarrassment, seeing others easily do new things while we struggle. One goal of occupational therapy is to create a new experience of small steps and successes, helping set up a new expectation. Another effort we make is to praise the effort, not the result, even when he is successful. Otherwise "good job trying" becomes another way to say you didn't succeed.
My own fear of mistakes might limit my spoken vocabulary and menu options, but I've had enough success and manageable failures to get to a place where I can try and learn when it really matters. My hope for Simon is that with the right encouragement, he can grow to be a confident person, knowing he'll get things wrong and struggle, but pressing on regardless.
In the meantime, I'll try not to lose my mind when he screams at me for telling him "well done."