There is a trend happening as the pendulum swings back from hyper-involvement, over-scheduling, “helicopter” parenting to a slower paced, less hands on, over-scheduling, “helicopter” parenting to a slower paced, less hands on, free-wheeling type. As a parent of a hypersensitive SPD child, we’re getting slow parenting down to a science. Simon can usually only handle one thing a day. One trip the park and the rest of the day at home. Morning at home, lunch with a friend, rest of the day at home. Recently I was hoping to have dinner out with the three of us, but Simon had his play/therapy/early intervention appointment at Swap that day. We had dinner at home.
We’ve learned the hard, meltdown way that we just can’t take him from one event or place to another. Sometimes if he has a good diet and a quiet time that’s actually quiet, he can manage something new afterwards. But only sometimes. It’s an adjustment, though I never thought of myself as a very active, out of the house type of person, when you can’t go grocery shopping because you were playing with friends in the morning, you realize how much you actually do in a day. It’s disappointing at times, to skip out on something you want to do because your little one can’t take it, but in some ways I appreciate it. We enjoy spending time playing board games, watching Simon watch the wheels spin as he pulls his trains, or spelling words on the old laptop. Needing to stay home for the well-being of your son is a good motivator, it keeps us close, slow, and cozy. I don’t want him isolated, of course, and he needs to be gently prodded at times. But as the super-genius developmental pediatrician presented, even if a child can grow out their sensory issues, if they are not dealt with well, it leave behind anxiety, sometimes anxiety disorder.
So we rest at home after a morning out, or spend a morning out when the afternoon will takes us out the home, and while sometimes I have to miss out on something, I love those times we have at home.