The Dysregulation of Simon Ham

Teacher Sam told us on Monday afternoon that they had talked about keeping hands off of other people's faces in school today. Simon had been poking other children in the face the way he does it to us. It's affectionate and silly sometimes and sensory compulsion at others. Another moment this week he was in great distress, in the middle of a total meltdown, begging Bob to pick him. He rested his head on Bob's shoulder for a moment, then started aggressively jabbing him in the face. When told to stop, Simon screamed and started flailing. He wanted connection and comfort, but he was so overloaded, he couldn't take it in with face jabbing.

He's had a meltdown nearly every night, flailing, throwing, kicking, and screaming. Screaming so loud that ours ring, even though we plug them. There have been a few things out of the ordinary, a trip to the movies, a few missed quiet times, a shared dinner that pushed his bedtime back half an hour. He's also oozing mucus. Bob thinks it's a little cold. I think it's allergies. Either way, he's coughing, sneezing, not sleeping as well, and probably doesn't feel too great. Slight shift in schedule and a sinus explosion might be enough to do this to him. But it might not. There are many possibilities, some I need insight for, if it's something new they're trying at school that is frustrating, if the classroom or schedule have been rearranged. It could be a reaction to my struggles with Fibromyalgia, seeing how I am in pain, sad, frustrated, and very tired.

What I'm really worried about is that he notices how his classmates are starting to react to him. A month ago, when I dropped the critter off at school, he got too close to the face of a friend, called her something silly, and they both laughed, though she definitely backed up. This week, she looked at him and turned away, not responding at all. Two girls were chasing each other in the hallway, giggling. Simon ran over, joined their little circuit, and giggled with wiggly fingers, like pretend tickling, but not actual touching. They stopped, fell silent, and returned to their parents. Hopefully he's oblivious, like I was as a kid, but the level of sensitivity to emotions from others leaves me worried he gets it. Simon feels the rejection and recognizes that those looks say he's different, odd, and too much to handle.

So we refocus on what we can control - strict schedule, remove electronics, keep the house mellow, and activities infrequent. Pump him full of fluids, perk myself up as best I can in front of him, and hope.